Past and Pain

"Time would heal the pain."
I read that somewhere.
Waktu akan menyembuhkan luka, ngobatin sakit hati, dan membasuh semua perih yang pernah ada.
Tapi jika hanya itu, yang bikin quote ini akan gue kasih ucapan "Terimakasih, but not that it matters."
Karena luka itu pasti ada bekasnya kan?
I know, dengan kedokteran macam sekarang pasti bisa dengan mudah ngilangin bekas luka.
Tapi gimana klo bekas itu nggak bisa dihilangin? Di hati misalnya?
Bukan liver tapi ya.
Jika hati gue disakitin, mungkin akan mudah sembuh, tapi akan ingat seumur hidup.
That sucks.
Karena jika aja kalo gue lupa, otomatis gue nggak akan ngerasain sakit, nggak akan kebayang-bayang masa lalu, nggak akan takut ngelangkah.
Damn, if I could, I'll travel all the world just to find the medicine which can make me forget all the pains, no matter how hard it is.
Sepele sebenernya, ada banyak orang yang gue cinta, yang gue sayang, tapi mereka juga manusia biasa yang pasti bikin salah kan?
But I hate the fact that their pasts still haunt my life, still cover their goodness in my eyes.
I hate myself for not seeing them clearly.
Dan ngebiarin diri gue ragu, insecure, dan was-was mikirin apakah mereka akan ngelakuin hal yang sama atau enggak.
I'm not perfect, of course. I'm human being.
But I just don't want to get hurt over and over again.
Get hurt makes me strong, but it would let me cursing this life all the time.
And I don't want to.
But how if in someone you love, you find so many chances of getting hurt instead?
Past, yeah, but it still haunts me sometimes.
Would he do the same mistakes again?
Bikin gue takut ngelangkah, takut bicara, takut kehilangan.
I'm just afraid I'd give up, not give up to his mistakes, but give up to the same mistakes again.
I read somewhere, "Loving someone is giving the ability to destroy you but trust him he'll not."
Do I trust him that much?
I wish I do.